Dear sir,

Making dumb faces reminiscent of screech from [Saved by the Bell](http://hometown.aol.com/rt92283/screech.jpg) while on stage pretending to play the guitar isn’t very becoming of you. If you didn’t take the time to learn the music, please refrain from getting on the stage. We the discerning audience will notice that you have turned your volume down to zero and are trying (and failing) to follow the bass player’s lead. Your silly faces are not covering the fact that you are missing chord changes and only serve to distract us from the real talent.

Thank you,
The audience.